Alright so I have had repeated requests to post the saga that is Bus Stop Steve, so here we go.
Is he fictional or is he real? The stories are true folks, he is a real person. Do yourself a favor and check out Keith's blog (see my Recommended Reads on the sidebar), download a song by Toss Donkey called Medium T and about halfway through you will hear Clint talking about Steve...its actually genius how Keith was able to incorporate this into the song.
Anyways enough shameless plugging of Toss Donkey...
Almost a year ago now I found myself in the role of manager at the fascist electronics store I mentioned in my previous post. During my time in that role I was faced with the difficult task of recruiting and choosing a new Home Theater supervisor. Naturally I offered Clint the job, unfortunately his incredible tan and unnaturally large guns seemed to get in the way of his decision making abilities that week so I was left with 2 other options. One of those options was Steve. Now, I don't want anyone here to think for a second that I had anything to do with him as an option, that would be my boss...Steve was his choice.
Clint tells the story to myself and a few other select Patio Talk invitees a couple weeks later. With microphone in hand and cameras rolling this was one for the books.
Steve came into the store a couple of times while still in the interview process for the job. One time he approached Clint while was in the Computer section. Dressed in a button down shirt...naturally with his sleeves rolled up and I believe his best 1990s skinny silk tie on. His ties are now legend and I have already made plans to affix them permanently in a case of glass and display them prominently in the entrance hall of the Nanaimo Chamber of Commerce.
So this guy Steve decides he wants all kinds of stuff but wants below cost pricing. Claiming he is "practically already hired" he is trying to convince anyone that will listen to give him these ridiculous deals. Clint is having no part of this guy, but makes a point of watching him for the duration of his stay.
During his time looking at items in the store Clint notices that Steve continuously asks for his father's advice on everything from laptops to cables to random paper products, I'm pretty sure someone mentioned to me that Steve even had his father escort him to and from the bathroom. Clint can't handle it, this guy was apparently, according to my boss in his effort to persuade me that Steve was a viable option, some kind of regional trainer for a smaller retail electronics chain and he is comfortably in this early thirties.
Are you getting a good picture of what we are dealing with here yet? Clint's impression of Steve asking for permission from his dad is priceless. There is no way I could even begin to describe it using only words. Not that I don't possess the requisite amount of written ability, but to be honest with you, I would ruin it. I'll tell you what, I know that somewhere out there is a video of Clint doing his impression of Steve...I will find it and upload it as soon as I can.
So there we are, Clint is well beyond his 3 beer in 15 minutes and we all believe the story is over...however with Clint there is always more.
Clint continues watching in disbelief as Steve stumbles around the store with mustard on his face, holding his father's hand until he finally decides to purchase some small item. After trying to haggle his way into a deal under the guise of almost being an employee, Steve finally heads to the front of the store and to a cashier.
As Steve is reaching into his pocket, out pops a number of curious items, some cash and a few bus transfers. This is where things really get interesting. Steve, and my boss still to this day will not admit that there was anything wrong with this guy, attempts to pass off these bus transfers as legal tender. As if they were worth some nominal amount of money.
One of these transfers was actually from the greater Toronto area, but as quoted by Clint, Steve "believed he still deserved full credit" for it. Unreal. To this day I still don't know how he managed to pay for his item.
I'm actually surprised Steve was able to negotiate the simple task of dressing himself in the morning before coming to the store.
The impersonation of Bus Stop Steve as portrayed by Clint has been replicated and imitated many times. However when you are on that patio with Clint, do not let him leave without telling you the story in his own words. Make sure you have your 15 pack ready because you are gonna need them all.
(Dad? Dad? Dad?)
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